U.G.L.Y.: When in Rome...

Okay. I like the movie Gladiator as much as the next person--actually, I bet I like it more, because that was the movie that spawned by bizarre infatuation with Joaquin Phoenix, for whom I nursed a crush until he started showing up in public with a dead animal on his face. I hear this new homeless look is part of an elaborate ruse with his brother-in-law Casey Affleck, but we'll see.

So, I love Gladiator. And yet, I don't love these:

It's one thing to respect the craft, because Joaquin Phoenix totally blew everybody else out of the water (and I still CANNOT BELIEVE he didn't win an Oscar for it), but it's another thing entirely to dress like a character in your everyday life. I will be most alarmed if I start seeing gilded armor and togas at the mall.

P.S. If you DO want to wear those, they're from Aldo.